Keep Moving …. West

It seems the farther West I go the more I miss the East, and probably vice versa. Being out here makes me really miss Jordan – maybe because everything is totally the opposite, not least the weather. But it’s also making me miss home. The only thing I don’t miss is school. Did I make the right decision going back to Penn? Logically, yes. I am glad to be closer to the fam and the friends but I still feel like there is something huge missing in my life. It’s like every day I am dealing with the same heartbreak, over and over. I desperately want to go back, but I don’t have a reason. I am torn between feeling the necessity of gettingajobacareeranormallifeasalaryBLAH or giving up on everything? It can’t be dichotomous but it definitely feels like it is. Even silly things, that exist everywhere, like city lights, make me think of Amman. The forest makes me think of the desert. Jews make me think of Muslims, Israelis of Palestinians, peanut butter sandwiches of za’atar and labaneh, my lonely single of a crazy house full of children, English of Arabic…all these things I came to love are now just … gone. I want them back!

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