(Pretentious) Existential Angst

Consider yourself warned.

Excessive mental angst and waffling about the path I want my life to take. But do I really have any control over that?

A few phone interviews for “opportunities” in the Middle East and I have been philosophizing about this whole way of life. Of course, taking the “real” job at the do-gooder organization is nothing to sniff at, and certainly something that interests me and I would like to do in theory. But when I think about it practically, I don’t want to start over so soon, I don’t want to sit at a desk, I don’t want to follow the path for which most of my socio-economic and intellectual class is destined. On the other hand, I feel as though I have to put my college degree to use, and as one with the opportunity to help in ways I do feel strongly about, I can’t fully get behind this “selfish” way of life I’ve adopted. On the other other hand, I know I wouldn’t be happy, at least right now, making those choices, and isn’t that worth something?

This mountain life takes a certain kind of person. Most people I’ve known wouldn’t thrive in these conditions; most out here make their livings in trades specific to a resort and tourist town – no consulting firms or I-banking. “Ski bums,” for lack of a better word, at least those of us who are highly educated, have made the conscious decision to reject the conventional and opt for something outside-the-box. It will be interesting to see how many, if any, of us go on to stay for longer than a year or two. I can’t stay here forever, but it’s certainly not a bad way to spend some time. And who knows how I’ll feel about my “future” after that?

One thought on “(Pretentious) Existential Angst

  1. I like where this is going. By the way, I went to visit the Sixth Floor Museum in Dallas today. Talk about angst.


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