If I Had a Nickel…

Quite the situation in the Holy Land today: an Arab guy was convicted of rape when the intercourse was, by admission of the accusing female, completely consensual. So what gives? He told her he was Jewish. She found out later that he wasn’t, and decided that it now constituted rape. Wait…what?

So this guy introduced himself as someone he was not – haven’t we all done this? I’ve been “Margaret”, I’ve lied about being single or taken, I’ve omitted facts, and probably even deliberately made categorically untrue statements: all in similar situations. You meet someone, you don’t really care if they know the truth, you’re drunk, you’re at a bar or a party or whatever, and so what if you end up in bed together later? That’s how it goes. As far as I know, I’m not a rapist. Well, that’s because I’m not Arab.

Gideon Levy, a liberal Israeli commentator, was quoted as saying: “I would like to raise only one question with the judge. What if this guy had been a Jew who pretended to be a Muslim and had sex with a Muslim woman? Would he have been convicted of rape? The answer is: of course not.”

So he’s a rapist because he lied about who he was, and he told her he was interested in a serious relationship. What guy hasn’t said this in pursuit of a little something-something? “The sex therefore was obtained under false pretenses,” said the judge. If I had a nickel (shekel?) – or even a long-term relationship – for every one-night stand obtained under false pretenses…oh hey! I’d be rich on sending guys to jail just for being guys! Victory at last!

The story continues…they met, it was lust at first sight, she’s Jewish, he’s “Jewish”, let’s go off into this nearby building to consummate our newfound love and be fruitful and multiply because that’s what everybody wants, right? Newsflash, darling: next time, wait a few minutes, or a few days, before jumping into bed with strangers. I don’t care what he told you. He’s still a stranger. And if you want to throw caution to the wind and sleep with strangers (nothing wrong with that, my dear, on occasion), it’s your responsibility as an equal one-half of the deed to take the appropriate amount of responsibility. Look, we’ve all been there. Wake up, think “what was I thinking?”, and run to the nearest police station to cry rape. Except for that last part.

If you’re going to do stupid shit, at least own up to it. You had half the sex and as a consensual act, this is half your fault. Sorry. Maybe don’t be so gullible next time. As a rule, never believe what someone tells you in a situation where they might be wanting to have sex with you. They’re never telling the truth, the whole truth, or nothing but the truth.

Again, maybe I’m just an idealist, but I don’t think you’re supposed to accuse someone of rape and assault (heavy, man, heavy) just because you’re ashamed and embarrassed and you fucked up (no pun intended). Stop playing victim to your own stupidity.


2 thoughts on “If I Had a Nickel…

  1. Mom: my defense, before you can say anything.
    The point isn’t my sex life, the point is the absurdity of this situation.
    I mean, partly the point is that she’s not the first person that this has happened to. But more importantly, it’s about girls playing victim either because they’re embarrassed or, in this case, because of ingrained and systematic discrimination.
    So you slept with someone and it’s not what you expected. Big deal. What she did is horribly offensive not only to Arabs, but to women who are ACTUALLY rape victims. No one, in their right mind, can be on her side.

  2. Actually, I wasn’t going to say a thing (at least about the appropriateness of your blog). I agree with everything you’ve said. The court decision is offensive at every level. The only possible explanation I can imagine would justify such a decision would be diminished capacity on the part of the woman and i’d think the man would need to know that. But, there’s no indication in the articles I saw to indicate such a fact pattern.

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