This is a scam.

Dear World,

Never, ever get it into your head that you might want to go to law school.

Here’s why:

1. You have to take the LSAT, which is actually not to terrible, except for the $130 or so price tag. But its horrors are exacerbated by the fact that kids-who-try-too-hard are spending hundreds more dollars and months, if not years, of their lives studying their insecure little tuchases off, which means that even once you shell out the sticker price you are still about to get f***ed because they had nothing better to do.

2. Because the law school admissions process is run by a cartel fondly known as LSAC (law school admissions council), every law school says you have to let them (LSAC) assemble your credentials, with a stupidly-acronymed service-for-purchase CAS (credit assembly service)…for another $124. I mean, come on, I think I am perfectly capable of coordinating a couple documents and sending them to the right place by the right deadline. But no; they’d rather test the depth of my pockets rather than my actual coping-with-the-world skills. F***ers. Look, if you want to be entrepreneurial and try to make money off of kids who are too lazy to assemble their own credentials, fine. But I think it’s akin to extortion to make it mandatory for the rest of us.

Yes, this is a true story.

3. THEN, you have to pay an application fee to each school. Which is pretty much okay, except they run generally about $75, which is high compared to undergrad. But it’s the combined costs of application fees, CAS, LSATs, and the fact that I can’t actually get in to law school because I chose to save my money and my time by not killing myself over my LSAT score that makes this just adding insult to injury.

This whole scheme is morally reprehensible. But the Catch-22 (because there always is one) is that I can’t do anything about it…because I have to use it to get into law school.

F. M. L.

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3 thoughts on “This is a scam.

  1. Listen to Mitchell and Botman on “Audio On Demand” on MPBN from their joint appearance at USM a couple of weeks ago. Listen to the first audience question and the answer.
    There was a guy who wanted to join the Marines, and who had noticed that they seemed to delight in stupidity, so he pounded his head against a brick wall until he couldn’t remember his own name. Later, reflecting on his career, capped as Commandant, he told an interviewer candidly that he couldn’t remember why he’d joined the Corps.
    My ideal of a family doctor is that she tells ninety-nine percent of her patients to get the hell out of her office.

  2. Sounds to me like you decided to enter a competition, didn’t like the outcome, and decided to blame the rules. You knew the game going in. Test prep is a clqssic prisoner’s dilemna. You had tp know that others are doing test prep. So why didn’t you do the prep if you wanted to win? If you didn’t wan to play the game, why did you enter the competition. All that stuff qbout fees is beside the point. Pleqse excuse the typos.

    1. That is undoubtedly true. And I did know going in that all the lame-os would have studied; I am resentful that the game is one which rewards that kind of paying. The LSATs are in theory, I think, supposed to test our natural talent in logic and reasoning. I think mine was more or less naturally tested; however, I know people whose scores increased by something like ten points when they committed a year of their lives to studying. Thus, it is no longer an authentic measure of innate aptitude, but a test of how well we study. Certainly the test is flawed, which I knew going on. But I can still be disillusioned with the way things work. Especially when, assuming this is something I want to do, I don’t have another option.

      I suppose other people might enjoy being coerced into doing silly things, but I don’t.

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