Ever since high school, when my curly haired sister got a hairdresser’s recommendation for appropriate shampoos and conditioners for our hair type, I have been using Biolage Hydrating Shampoo (or hydrathérapie for those in the know) and the matching Biolage (Ultra-)Hydrating Conditioner. I know, I know; matching shampoos and conditioners? But it’s my HAIR.
Biolage is thick and rich and smells like natural oils and soothing butters and is like delicious I-want-to-smell-your-head lotion for your mane. It is opaque white and creamy and is an altogether luxurious experience.
Anyway, my current bottle of said shampoo, which I had bought at Rite Aid (I know Biolage is for sale in salons only, but I’ve always bought it at Rite Aid and it’s always been the real thing), was almost out. Finding myself at Target, it seemed prudent to do my shampoo-shopping there. They didn’t have the normal sized bottle, only the big one, and after some waffling over the $22 price tag I got it anyway. I mean what was I supposed to do, get 2-in-1?
I finally took a shower using my new shampoo. But as soon as I opened the bottle I knew something was wrong; the scent wafting towards me was chemical and plebeian. As the inner liquid emerged, my world came crashing down around me: it was clear and viscuous, and reeked of underpaid Southeast Asian child labor.
I was appalled: how could Target DO THIS to me? ME?! I NEED this shampoo! My hair will be groty and pedestrian if I don’t have it! This is a scandal! This is uncouth! This is devious and manipulative and my god, what is this, knock-off Kate Spades on Canal Street?
Moral of this story: never ever buy anything at Target. It’s fake, probably stolen, and it will RUIN your HAIR. Also they sold me stale Sour Patch Kids.
(I am even going to connect this to OWS:
Isn’t it illegal for Target and retailers to sell, for example, the Paul Mitchell finishing spray that clearly states on the bottle: “Guaranteed only when sold by a professional hairdresser, otherwise it may be counterfeit, old, or tampered with?”
“It’s not illegal. We tried to get legislation passed a few years ago (to make diversion illegal) but we were not successful. So, what Target and other retailers are doing is not illegal.”
This questionable economy should be illegal; it harms the manufacturing company’s reputation and legitimate sales and it harms the consumer by unethically hoodwinking them into buying something that is stolen, fake, and/or dangerous. And smells bad. Anyway, the fact that diversion was never outlawed is clearly evidence of the damaging and oppressive influence major corporations, like Target, have on our legislative process.)