Dehydrated, with crappy erasers.

Getting into the LSAT is going to be harder than getting through airport security with a gallon of gooey liquid strapped to your back.

Some of the rules:

1. All candidates must bring to the LSAT test center the following: (1) your unsigned LSAT Admission Ticket. At the test center you will provide your signature at the check-in table. (2) one current, valid (NOT expired) government-issued ID. (3) Three or four sharpened No. 2 or HB pencils, with good erasers.

2. You must take to the test center one current, valid (NOT expired) government-issued ID containing a recent and recognizable photo and your signature. No one will be admitted into the testing room without acceptable identification as outlined at LSAC.org. Acceptable forms of ID include passport books and government-issued driver’s licenses. US military personnel may present their US military ID card containing their name, photo, and signature. Government-issued employment IDs, Social Security/Social Insurance cards, birth certificates, credit cards (including those with photo), passport cards, cards used in Canada for health care benefits, expired IDs, employee cards, photocopied IDs, and student IDs are NOT acceptable as IDs for the LSAT. Your first and last name on your ID must match exactly the name on your LSAT Admission Ticket. No one will be admitted into the test room without acceptable identification.

3. Test takers may bring into the testing room ONLY a clear plastic ziplock bag (maximum size: 1 gallon/3.79 liters) containing ONLY the following items: LSAT Admission Ticket stub, valid ID, wallet, keys, hygiene/medical products, No. 2 or HB pencils (no mechanical pencils), erasers, pencil sharpener, a highlighter, tissues, beverage in a plastic container or juice box (maximum size: 20 oz/591 ml), and snack for break only. All items must fit in the bag such that the bag can be sealed.

4. Prohibited non-electronic items that test takers may not take into the testing room include, but are not limited to, the following items: books, dictionaries, rulers, slide rules, compasses, mechanical pencils, briefcases, handbags, backpacks, earplugs, and papers of any kind. Hats/hoods may not be worn on the head (except items of religious apparel).

5. Test takers may have only tissues, ID, LSAT Admission Ticket stub, No. 2 or HB pencils, erasers, a pencil sharpener, highlighter, and analog (nondigital) wristwatch. No electronic timing devices are permitted. Beverage and snack are NOT permitted on the desktop and may be accessed only during the break.

6. Scratch paper is not permitted for any of the five sections of the test, nor may pages or parts of pages be torn from the test book. You may, however, use the blank spaces available in the section on which you are working for any notes or diagrams you wish to make for answering a test question.

The one thing I really want to know: will they not let me in if I have two or five No. 2 pencils? And what if the erasers suck?

Um, actually?

Needed a little light-hearted sumpin-sumpin up in here. Spellcheck say what?

Guess I know what my next email address is going to be, when I have to go undercover. So like, in a week. Eep!

Ah, and a little more: I was spell checking my resume (which is moderately badass now), which I then forgot to attach (along with my cover letter) to the email I sent for a job. Whoops. Maybe they’ll find it endearing. I did send them both right afterwards, don’t worry.

But chances are I wouldn’t have gotten it anyway, so let’s just laugh.

Haifa Fire 2

Just checked the weather and it might rain Monday and Tuesday. So first of all, fat chance. But second of all, as much as I’d like to think that’ll go a long way in putting this fire out…I just don’t think it will. At this point, though, can’t hurt. More than 50 hours now, and it keeps spreading, and new fires keep popping up. I still can’t see smoke from my neighborhood, can only smell it occasionally, so it’s STILL unreal.

The city, though, is dead. Ben Gurion, which is normally crowded and hectic and overwhelming on a Friday night, was as relaxed as a back porch in the boondocks of Mississippi last night.

I’m keeping track of the breaking news headlines on ynet, the only up-to-date English-language coverage of what’s going on. That, and word on the street. The sheer amount of negligence involved that let it get this big is mind-boggling…

And here’s a little something to occupy your time:

And bring back memories.

No One’s Connections Will Be in Jeopardy.

(This is a flashback.)

It occurs to me that airports are epically desolate places. False cheeriness scantily masks the perversion of the mechanized system. The corporate barista’s words are of the utmost imitation of politeness. Ma’am and best wishes for the quality of my day do not belie the boredom desperation self-loathing in his eyes. I get it. I was him. A waitress at the imitation miniature restaurant feigns interest in an overweight patron’s overexcited detailed recounting of regular business trips. Press the buttons. Sashay, but it’s all a show.
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